Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
