The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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