This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
