He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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