forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
