Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
