I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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