it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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