so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
