Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
