so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
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i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
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He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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