He disabled his match.com account in front of me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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