Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
