Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
