he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
