I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
please come you make the beer taste better
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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