is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
