She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
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surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
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I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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