dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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