brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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