New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize