Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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