Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
