I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
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Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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I have aggressive nipples.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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