I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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