And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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