no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
