why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
i out mim tonsoeep
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