he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
