dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
