I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
