my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She needs sedatives and a leash
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
