A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
