Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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