I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
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