My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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