Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize