Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
