i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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