I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize