I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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