Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
