what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
