he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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