...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
