while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
