she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
