don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize