Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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