I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
