I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
