guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
