This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
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I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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