She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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