She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
