ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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