I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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