i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
