My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
