can we get nightvision for the apartment?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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