how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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