why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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