Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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