Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
