Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
