thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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